Little Red Dave sees Drunkeness and approves

Thai overnight trains are known for two things: the cleanliness and quality service and the well-stocked dining car. Well-stocked with beer.

Unlike trains in other countries, the attendants come round and make up your bed so most people head on over to the dining car to drink Beer Chang or Singha and to eat some food that’s surprisingly good.

We did it in style. So did the entire carriage. That’s right – train party!!

The flowing alcohol and good food was only the first ingredient. The second was the carriage’s occupants without which our evening of random drunkenness would not have been so drunken… or frankly so random.

Dour French couple, creepy guy with inexplicably hot girlfriend, ‘touchy feely’ American and his group of friends, and the ubiquitous middle-aged English sleaze who’s ‘moved’ to Asia. And his brother and sister in law.

The dining car is full, the beer is pouring and you get – dancing, flashing headlamps on beer bottles, toilet jokes, unwanted sexual advances, dancing, awkwardness and a general air of frivolity. I think I could write a movie about it. There would be espionage and someone would die. Probably sleazy guy.

Karma got him, however, at the border crossing to Laos. He didn’t get in and had to go back home to Penang. Hah!

Note to future generations: If you want to drink a BYO bottle of wine in the dining car of a Thai train, you can always bribe the employees! This was Paul’s idea – his cry of “I made a deal!” is already coming to define him. 200 baht later and the wine was opened. However, the guy we bribed thought it was whiskey. He kept pouring us nips and then trying to cut it with water.

Second note to future generations: Should you complain about the music and Paul should say he’s “made a deal” to get different music that involves sexual favours from you, neither Paul nor the sleazy Englishman currently residing in Malaysia is joking. But don’t panic. Should you inform the sleazy English guy that you are married and can therefore not hold up the bargain Paul made, sleazy English guy will (a) hit on the girl next to you instead and (b) blame Paul. Also, he will then get deported. And we will be glad he’s not in the same country as us anymore.